Debra Ann Cruz, CEAP, CEC, LPC
Develop Your Strengths & Skills to Succeed
You may have noticed the abundance of self-help books, courses, and shows flooding the TV. Whole networks are devoted to the subject—redesigning your life for more joy and peace of mind. Many of us have taken the giant leap of faith into self-improvement, professional development, or living a healthier lifestyle—not only for ourselves but also for our loved ones and friends.

We invest fortunes pursuing this interest, studying leadership gurus techniques, and attending conferences, workshops, or retreats. We pray that this time, the awareness gained will stick for a permanent change towards becoming the person you want to be, but it doesn’t. Too often, after all that time and effort, you still don’t feel happy or fulfilled because of unresolved pain and emotional debt. We realize that we have not recognized the burden of pain held inside for years, or we have not dug deep enough to understand the sources of our problems. We realize that we don’t know ourselves as well as we thought. We don’t know our “Self” as the lighthouse guiding us safely through the ebbs and tides of life.

So, who are you? This question is difficult for many people to answer. Knowing or defining who you are required releasing emotional debts from the past. You know all the things that you denied or ignored, hoping the ugliness will disappear from reality. It requires you to decide and have the willingness to reflect on your past experiences, then acknowledge and face your truth, including all the dirty-pretty things in your life.

The term “debt” relates to inequality and is usually tied to economics or money owed or due. But in this case, emotional debt is linked to negative or traumatic emotions held inside or buried, causing an imbalance in your life and your relationships. Most of us harbor knowledge of family secrets that are, for whatever reason, never to be discussed or repeated for fear of tarnished reputations. However, having an awareness of your emotional debts and healing past trauma requires that you face your past to sort out your feelings. If you know that you will be “Okay,” you can handle and resolve your past issues. Hopefully, this will enable you to fill some gaps you’ve felt in your life.

As you learn to understand your feelings and stand in your truth, your emotional debt level decreases, causing a reduction in your patterns of painful or negative thoughts and behaviors. Your self-esteem increases, strengthening your ability to heal old emotional wounds, helping to free you from the expectations of living an inauthentic reality.

Studies show that our emotional brain controls human behaviors reflected in your life, how you live, and the choices you make, keeping you on track to living the life you want. At the same time, every decision and every thought leads to actions and behaviors that serve a purpose and tells part of your personal story.

The challenge of making any life change, both physical and emotional, can seem daunting, especially when you don’t have the tools or the know-how to do it. The majority of us never received professional training in the vagaries of decision-making or planning a path to chart our life’s course. We’ve all made decisions that worked for us and choices that did not work. And just as we are all more than what we do for a living, the role we play in our families or relationship, our individual “Self,” is more than a body going through the motions of daily existence. Fixing your “Self” one step at a time is like meeting your needs one step at a time until your very being moves your thoughts, feelings, emotions, and behavior into the life of your dreams. This new commitment makes the “Self” you design a new frontier—and that’s a good thing because everything from personal growth to wholesale change starts with the same “YOU” wherever you exist.

As a psychotherapist and executive coach, my role is to help you find the clarity and purpose you seek for your life. We all have a personal truth, filled with the mysteries of life, yet to be lived, not problems to be solved. However, you can’t think about making lasting changes to your life without knowing yourself first and knowing who you are. In the process of working with clients over the years, I’ve discovered that these life stories, combined with a desire to take control of life, can empower you to transform yourself into a mature being with clarity and purpose. This article is the first in a series of blogs to help you recover your sweet spot of personal truth so that you can exhale into living your life on your terms. So, are you ready to regain your self-truth?

You may have noticed the abundance of self-help books, courses, and shows flooding the TV. Whole networks are devoted to the subject—redesigning your life for more joy and peace of mind. Many of us have taken the giant leap of faith into self-improvement, professional development, or living a healthier lifestyle—not only for ourselves but also for our loved ones and friends.

We invest fortunes pursuing this interest, studying leadership gurus techniques, and attending conferences, workshops, or retreats. We pray that this time, the awareness gained will stick for a permanent change towards becoming the person you want to be, but it doesn’t. Too often, after all that time and effort, you still don’t feel happy or fulfilled because of unresolved pain and emotional debt. We realize that we have not recognized the burden of pain held inside for years, or we have not dug deep enough to understand the sources of our problems. We realize that we don’t know ourselves as well as we thought. We don’t know our “Self” as the lighthouse guiding us safely through the ebbs and tides of life.

So, who are you? This question is difficult for many people to answer. Knowing or defining who you are required releasing emotional debts from the past. You know all the things that you denied or ignored, hoping the ugliness will disappear from reality. It requires you to decide and have the willingness to reflect on your past experiences, then acknowledge and face your truth, including all the dirty-pretty things in your life.

The term “debt” relates to inequality and is usually tied to economics or money owed or due. But in this case, emotional debt is linked to negative or traumatic emotions held inside or buried, causing an imbalance in your life and your relationships. Most of us harbor knowledge of family secrets that are, for whatever reason, never to be discussed or repeated for fear of tarnished reputations. However, having an awareness of your emotional debts and healing past trauma requires that you face your past to sort out your feelings. If you know that you will be “Okay,” you can handle and resolve your past issues. Hopefully, this will enable you to fill some gaps you’ve felt in your life.

As you learn to understand your feelings and stand in your truth, your emotional debt level decreases, causing a reduction in your patterns of painful or negative thoughts and behaviors. Your self-esteem increases, strengthening your ability to heal old emotional wounds, helping to free you from the expectations of living an inauthentic reality.

Studies show that our emotional brain controls human behaviors reflected in your life, how you live, and the choices you make, keeping you on track to living the life you want. At the same time, every decision and every thought leads to actions and behaviors that serve a purpose and tells part of your personal story.

The challenge of making any life change, both physical and emotional, can seem daunting, especially when you don’t have the tools or the know-how to do it. The majority of us never received professional training in the vagaries of decision-making or planning a path to chart our life’s course. We’ve all made decisions that worked for us and choices that did not work. And just as we are all more than what we do for a living, the role we play in our families or relationship, our individual “Self,” is more than a body going through the motions of daily existence. Fixing your “Self” one step at a time is like meeting your needs one step at a time until your very being moves your thoughts, feelings, emotions, and behavior into the life of your dreams. This new commitment makes the “Self” you design a new frontier—and that’s a good thing because everything from personal growth to wholesale change starts with the same “YOU” wherever you exist.

As a psychotherapist and executive coach, my role is to help you find the clarity and purpose you seek for your life. We all have a personal truth, filled with the mysteries of life, yet to be lived, not problems to be solved. However, you can’t think about making lasting changes to your life without knowing yourself first and knowing who you are. In the process of working with clients over the years, I’ve discovered that these life stories, combined with a desire to take control of life, can empower you to transform yourself into a mature being with clarity and purpose. This article is the first in a series of blogs to help you recover your sweet spot of personal truth so that you can exhale into living your life on your terms. So, are you ready to regain your self-truth?

You may have noticed the abundance of self-help books, courses, and shows flooding the TV. Whole networks are devoted to the subject—redesigning your life for more joy and peace of mind. Many of us have taken the giant leap of faith into self-improvement, professional development, or living a healthier lifestyle—not only for ourselves but also for our loved ones and friends.

We invest fortunes pursuing this interest, studying leadership gurus techniques, and attending conferences, workshops, or retreats. We pray that this time, the awareness gained will stick for a permanent change towards becoming the person you want to be, but it doesn’t. Too often, after all that time and effort, you still don’t feel happy or fulfilled because of unresolved pain and emotional debt. We realize that we have not recognized the burden of pain held inside for years, or we have not dug deep enough to understand the sources of our problems. We realize that we don’t know ourselves as well as we thought. We don’t know our “Self” as the lighthouse guiding us safely through the ebbs and tides of life.

So, who are you? This question is difficult for many people to answer. Knowing or defining who you are required releasing emotional debts from the past. You know all the things that you denied or ignored, hoping the ugliness will disappear from reality. It requires you to decide and have the willingness to reflect on your past experiences, then acknowledge and face your truth, including all the dirty-pretty things in your life.

The term “debt” relates to inequality and is usually tied to economics or money owed or due. But in this case, emotional debt is linked to negative or traumatic emotions held inside or buried, causing an imbalance in your life and your relationships. Most of us harbor knowledge of family secrets that are, for whatever reason, never to be discussed or repeated for fear of tarnished reputations. However, having an awareness of your emotional debts and healing past trauma requires that you face your past to sort out your feelings. If you know that you will be “Okay,” you can handle and resolve your past issues. Hopefully, this will enable you to fill some gaps you’ve felt in your life.

As you learn to understand your feelings and stand in your truth, your emotional debt level decreases, causing a reduction in your patterns of painful or negative thoughts and behaviors. Your self-esteem increases, strengthening your ability to heal old emotional wounds, helping to free you from the expectations of living an inauthentic reality.

Studies show that our emotional brain controls human behaviors reflected in your life, how you live, and the choices you make, keeping you on track to living the life you want. At the same time, every decision and every thought leads to actions and behaviors that serve a purpose and tells part of your personal story.

The challenge of making any life change, both physical and emotional, can seem daunting, especially when you don’t have the tools or the know-how to do it. The majority of us never received professional training in the vagaries of decision-making or planning a path to chart our life’s course. We’ve all made decisions that worked for us and choices that did not work. And just as we are all more than what we do for a living, the role we play in our families or relationship, our individual “Self,” is more than a body going through the motions of daily existence. Fixing your “Self” one step at a time is like meeting your needs one step at a time until your very being moves your thoughts, feelings, emotions, and behavior into the life of your dreams. This new commitment makes the “Self” you design a new frontier—and that’s a good thing because everything from personal growth to wholesale change starts with the same “YOU” wherever you exist.

As a psychotherapist and executive coach, my role is to help you find the clarity and purpose you seek for your life. We all have a personal truth, filled with the mysteries of life, yet to be lived, not problems to be solved. However, you can’t think about making lasting changes to your life without knowing yourself first and knowing who you are. In the process of working with clients over the years, I’ve discovered that these life stories, combined with a desire to take control of life, can empower you to transform yourself into a mature being with clarity and purpose. This article is the first in a series of blogs to help you recover your sweet spot of personal truth so that you can exhale into living your life on your terms. So, are you ready to regain your self-truth?

Debra Cruz
Debra Cruz

Debra Ann Cruz, C.E.A.P., C.E.C., L.P.C., is a Certified Employee Assistance Professional, a Certified Executive Coach, and a Licensed Professional Counselor, and author of the upcoming book THE S.W.E.E.T. Spot of Self-Esteem for Women of Color. You can learn more about her at debra@debraanncruz.com.